A Short Guide to Dementia Care

A dementia diagnosis is hard news to hear. It can change everything: how people see your loved one, how your loved one sees themselves, how to navigate daily living. It throws the immediate future into question, too. Now that you have the diagnosis, you and your family are wondering—what’s next? 

A priority is to make sure you have the right medical team in place. That may include a specialist in dementia such as a geriatrician or a specialist in brain disorders such as a neurologist. Starting even now, however, there is much you can do on the home front to help your loved one live life as fully as possible—especially if you take a person-centered approach to providing dementia care.

Person-centered care honors a person’s goals, preferences, and values. All the seemingly little things that matter—what your loved one likes to wear, what they like to eat, what they enjoy doing—can help them maintain their dignity, spark happy memories, and give them a greater overall sense of well-being. With this in mind, here some key strategies to be thinking about to help your loved one live with dementia as safely and as meaningfully as possible.

(Note: If you’re the one who has received the diagnosis, you may find this a helpful read as well. It shows that you and your caregiver are a team and that there are many ways to support you both.)

Overstimulation can cause someone with dementia to appear confused. Reducing stimulation such as excess noise and clutter can help your loved one focus their attention on what is meaningful. While you’re at it, clear any tripping hazards such as extension cords to reduce the risk of falling. Remove or hide any potentially dangerous items, like kitchen knives or matches. Put night lights in the bedroom, hallway, and bathroom.

People with dementia don’t always wander off deliberately; they can lose their way on a walk or simply going to the mailbox. If your loved one is at risk, let your neighbors know and ask them to keep an eye out. Also consider having your loved one wear a mobile personal emergency response (PERs) device, which can alert you to their whereabouts.

The more structure and routine you can build into each day, the more you can help reduce confusion and encourage team “wins”. Keep eating, dressing, bathing, and other daily activities at the same time each day. Break down each activity into simple steps. Set regular quiet times throughout the day. Because dementia behaviors tend to begin worsening in the late afternoon, try closing the curtains and turning down the lights in the early evening. Create calming bedtime rituals, like having a warm bath or listening to soft music.

When speaking, present one thought at a time. As the dementia progresses, simple sentences and one-step directions can be appropriate. Respond with empathy, such as, “I’d feel the same way” or “What can I do to help?” Demonstrate any instructions by acting them out. Face your loved one head on to provide a visual cue that you are talking to them. Try not to speak while their back is turned. Resist the urge to interrupt and give your loved one your undivided attention.

Keep the focus on what your loved one can do by planning activities you know they enjoy. Just playing simple games or spending time outside can be beneficial. Whatever they love to do, make that a regular part of each day. It will also help your loved one maintain their sense of personal identity.

Some research shows that people with dementia want to participate in decisions about their future to the extent possible. If your loved one can still take part, plan together for finances, legal issues, safety needs, daily living concerns, and aging care options. You’ll both feel better knowing their wishes will be honored.

Caring for someone with dementia can be immensely rewarding, but it can also be exhausting, especially if you’re juggling caregiving duties with a job or family. Remember to take care of yourself, too. Joining a local caregiver support group can be very helpful, as it provides reassurance you’re not alone and presents opportunities to give and share advice with others in the same boat. Contact the Alzheimer’s Association or your local Area Agency on Aging to find groups near you.

Respite care can also help. It gives you a pause from caregiving duties by having someone else care for your loved one temporarily. Respite care is available from adult day care centers as well as short-term stays in nursing centers or assisted living and memory care communities. It can also be done at home with home health agencies, which can be the best option as it helps maintain the routine and structure your loved one is used to.

Or try asking family or friends to step in. Suggest possible days and times whenever someone asks what they can to do help. Remember, caring for yourself is anything but selfish—it can serve not only your well-being but your loved one’s, too.